eSpudd exlusive interview, 5

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Jayson: How do I get TPH to tour my country?

Lord K: Start a booking-agency, win a fucken trillion bucks on lottery. Kill all the fuckers who´s got the good clubs and venues and organize the shit yourself with some trustworthy friends. That might work. We´ll play free of charge as long as you serve us Christians, we need blood for the gigs you know.

Jayson: What does a live show for TPH consist of?

Lord K: Blood, sweat and no tears. Evil. One pissed and bearded 6 ft 7 fucker on the right wanting to kill each and everyfuckenone in the crowd. And some excellent fucken audible domination.

Jayson: What’s up with your beard?

Lord K: I don´t know, just something that happened. Now it´s fucken placed there. I´ll eventually grow tired of it some day, but it´ll stay for now. I look so fucken good in it, the chicks love it. Then again, chicks are fucken retarded. Die you whores.

Jayson: Are you really that evil?

Lord K: Try me. Bring your army and I´ll bring mine. That´s no one but myself, everything I need.

Jayson: Any last words or “shout outs”?

Lord K: Hi to my cronies. They know who they are, but firsthand it goes to Petter and J. I love them with all of my black, christhating heart.

Jayson: You know, if you ever do a TPH DVD, I’m flying my ass over there to sit down with you and J for a huge interview to be put on that thing.

Lord K: Considering this interview man, you would be the right guy to do it.

DVD? Well, who fucken knows, we are not on Massacre anymore so there might be a slight chance of that happening. Not that I fucken care much, I don´t have a goddamn DVD-player myself.

Jayson: As a fan, I want to take the time to thank you, J and Mia for the first two TPH albums. I cannot wait for the third act of domination.

Lord K: Well, we are glad to provide it to the people who fucken understands it. Everyone else just have a fucken poor taste. Thanks for the compliments on the shit man, it´s not exactly news to us that we fucken dominate.

Jayson: And as a friend, I want to thank you for taking all the time to answer wave after wave of questions that I have been throwing at you. Now get your ass back in the studio!

Lord K: Mr. Jayson Murray, I thank YOU for the time you put into this one. I hope it feels good to have made the most informative, most thought out interview I ever experienced. Holy shit my wrists hurt after this, damn you, I have some Dark Funeral riffs to practice you know. Don´t worry, we´ll be in the studio soon enough (when it comes to us it´s never soon enough, I know) unleashing the next disc of pure christ-killing domination. Hail Satan!

Interview conducted by Jayson Murray