eSpudd exlusive interview, 5
Jayson: How do I get TPH to tour my country?
Lord K: Start a booking-agency, win a fucken trillion bucks on lottery. Kill all the fuckers who’s got the good clubs and venues and organize the shit yourself with some trustworthy friends. That might work. We’ll play free of charge as long as you serve us Christians, we need blood for the gigs you know.
Jayson: What does a live show for TPH consist of?
Lord K: Blood, sweat and no tears. Evil. One pissed and bearded 6 ft 7 fucker on the right wanting to kill each and everyfuckenone in the crowd. And some excellent fucken audible domination.
Jayson: What’s up with your beard?
Lord K: I don’t know, just something that happened. Now it’s fucken placed there. I’ll eventually grow tired of it some day, but it’ll stay for now. I look so fucken good in it, the chicks love it. Then again, chicks are fucken retarded. Die you whores.
Jayson: Are you really that evil?
Lord K: Try me. Bring your army and I’ll bring mine. That’s no one but myself, everything I need.
Jayson: Any last words or “shout outs”?
Lord K: Hi to my cronies. They know who they are, but firsthand it goes to Petter and J. I love them with all of my black, christhating heart.
Jayson: You know, if you ever do a TPH DVD, I’m flying my ass over there to sit down with you and J for a huge interview to be put on that thing.
Lord K: Considering this interview man, you would be the right guy to do it.
DVD? Well, who fucken knows, we are not on Massacre anymore so there might be a slight chance of that happening. Not that I fucken care much, I don’t have a goddamn DVD-player myself.
Jayson: As a fan, I want to take the time to thank you, J and Mia for the first two TPH albums. I cannot wait for the third act of domination.
Lord K: Well, we are glad to provide it to the people who fucken understands it. Everyone else just have a fucken poor taste. Thanks for the compliments on the shit man, it’s not exactly news to us that we fucken dominate.
Jayson: And as a friend, I want to thank you for taking all the time to answer wave after wave of questions that I have been throwing at you. Now get your ass back in the studio!
Lord K: Mr. Jayson Murray, I thank YOU for the time you put into this one. I hope it feels good to have made the most informative, most thought out interview I ever experienced. Holy shit my wrists hurt after this, damn you, I have some Dark Funeral riffs to practice you know. Don’t worry, we’ll be in the studio soon enough (when it comes to us it’s never soon enough, I know) unleashing the next disc of pure christ-killing domination. Hail Satan!
Interview conducted by Jayson Murray
